motivation – Ren Martinez

Feeling Foggy

Here’s a fun game. Am I just in a rut or is this depression? Motivation has been bleeding from me for some time. Not all at once, like arterial spray. Just a slow, sluggish leak that I barely notice until I look down and see all the blood. But, I can’t tell what caused meContinue reading “Feeling Foggy”

There’s this terrible thing that happens when you get a job. You get tired. After 8 hours of mindless grinding, getting home and having the will to write seems nigh impossible. Any inch of creativity has been snipped short; all motivation dried up and cracked like a salted desert. So, it becomes another evening ofContinue reading

Atrophy

It’s been a month. More than a month, actually. What’s terrifying is that, when I forget to write, it’s like a flower wilting. It’s not just forgotten; it becomes desiccated from disuse. It curls up and shrivels and it becomes that much harder to begin again. Like a paralyzed limb succumbing to muscular atrophy. IContinue reading “Atrophy”

Should I Stay (Or Should I Run?)

It feels like I’ve been treading water in the sea of a quarter-life crisis for two years now. Desperate to keep my chin above water, but oh so curious to see what lays beneath the surface, a grand vastness that holds too many possibilities to fathom. But, neither do I swim to shore, the safetyContinue reading “Should I Stay (Or Should I Run?)”

Spinning Wheels and Choking on Dust

I’m playing the waiting game and I hate it. I haven’t heard back from any agents (it takes 6-8 weeks, my rational brain reminds me) and I can’t seem to drum up any enthusiasm to write. Which is the most frustrating and the most frightening. I have so many unfinished ideas that don’t seem toContinue reading “Spinning Wheels and Choking on Dust”

Impatience is a Virtue

So, my last update was that I sent out my first query letter. This caused much squeeing and poorly coordinated dances in my living room. It felt like the beginning of something that I’ve been dreaming of for quite some time. After the confetti was vacuumed up and the music stopped, I was left withContinue reading “Impatience is a Virtue”