memos to me

I’m trying to organize my life.

It’s going rather poorly.

I’m trying to write every day.

I’m failing rather spectacularly.

How is it that I can sit and plan and write reminders and yet hours/days/weeks will pass and I have yet to strike through one thing on my to-do list? Writing feels as naturally as breathing but sometimes I forget to breathe as if it’s natural. I look back and think “I should have done better” and in the end the past keeps distracting me from what to accomplish in the present.

I can’t keep “I can do it” in the future tense.

I have to figure out how to make it become part of the past, so it’s just “I did it.”


Published by Ren Martinez

Ren is a thirty-something Lost Boy whose personal aesthetic is “suspected of witchcraft by local villagers.” She subscribes to cheerful nihilism, the destruction of the patriarchy, and the belief that glitter makes everything better. She is a Richmond-based writer and performer who has fiction and non-fiction work found in a variety of publications, such as The Mary Sue, RVA Magazine, The Quotable, and Nostrovia Press. She is currently the fiction editor and a regular contributor at Quail Bell Magazine. She is also the co-host of the podcast, This F***ing Guy! Find out more at or read her dumbass tweets on Twitter @itsrenmartinez

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