I’ve been very open about being asexual for some time, usually discussing it here on various posts, defining demisexual to the masses and my experiences being ace while single or dating.
But, when it comes to being biromantic, it’s been more difficult to attempt that conversation.
I didn’t realize it myself for a long time, because I always associated romantic love with sexual attraction (thanks heteronormativity!) so any crushes I had were easily dismissed because I wasn’t sexually attracted to them. I had more than a few intense female friendships in middle/high school, and looking back I was much more invested than the other person, but I didn’t know how to articulate what I was feeling.
I didn’t even know I could feel that way.
So, it mostly went ignored, the same way my asexuality did. It wasn’t until I was in my mid twenties that I started learning about alternative sexualities and discovered asexuality was an actual thing. Once I figured out that, it became clearer to me that not all my feelings towards girls was platonic, now that I could separate them from sexual attraction.
Some people may ask “Why even talk about it? You have the beau.” And, yes, I’m in a happily committed, monogamous relationship with my favorite person. But, that doesn’t erase who I am. Being with him doesn’t make me any less queer.
So, now it’s officially out there in the universe. I’m still me, and I’m pretty damn happy right now, and I have a lovely beau and a wonderful family and awesome friends. All things considered, I’m doing just fine.